I have 800 stamps in my purse

I do have 800 stamps in my purse and I stood in line at two DC post offices on TAX DAY (CAPS MEANS THINGS ARE IMPORTANT) to get them. At the first USPS I was being offered only Montana* stamps - and that place blows, so I was like, I'm out.

But the real crazy came at lunch when a third party observer decided to tell my college roommate about how her mother (my roommate's) should go back to school to get a PhD and thus a promotion at her job. She was eating alone and I guess wanted to join in because she was lonely/bored/crazy, and one piece of totally useless information would have been tolerable but when she kept talking to us I knew things were quickly deteriorating. I wasn't sure how I could politely tell her to get the eff out of our conversation. I wanted to start a new convo and say like "Yeah, I think I have a like a yeast infection or something, it really burns" since that would surely deter most people but sometimes fighting crazy with crazy backfires. And then we'd all be talking about our vags over a $7.95 pizza lunch. Whatever, I've had worse (convos and lunches).

*The only thing I know about Montana is from Kristin Garber and she said it sucked.