I ran in the metro today. I was wearing galoshes and carrying a laptop bag, a gym bag, and a bag of salads whilst holding a golf umbrella. I think I had like 40 pounds of urban gear strapped to my body. Not only did I like assault 10 people on the way to the train but I think I almost died in the process. But right behind me as I hobbled with all my might to the Red Line train to Glenmont was a black woman yelling "Run girl! Keep on running!" And I did keep on running, until I collapsed on board confirming to the Asian tourists next to me that American's are the fattest people in the world. It was a very diverse evening.
Did I mention that my pants were falling down during this run? I couldn't decide which revealed the worse character trait - the fact I would rather run and look like a fool than wait 10 minutes for the next train or that I was too lazy to pull my pants up as I was running and they were falling down. Maybe that's why that lady was encouraging me to keep going - free peep show. Hey lady, I got news for you CRACK KILLS.
In other news, I called my Mom to tell her about the life insurance policy I bought. While I was explaining the policy my Mother interrupted me and said she had to call my sister, in the middle of our conversation. So I said, "Ok Mom but you can't have any of my death money now."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment